Afterlife

I find it amusing how people who believe in an afterlife seriously believe in the existence of hell and are terribly afraid of making the fatal mistake that would send them to that damned place, and yet they always assume that their departed loved ones automatically go to heaven and are now looking down on them. At least that was what I was told as a kid - that people go to heaven when they die, no exceptions. I used to be creeped out thinking how my great-grandmother and great-grandfather can and do see my every move (even when I hide under a table, or a blanket, or when I turn off the lights). Creepy, but that's what an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent god supposedly does, and he allegedly listens to our thoughts too, though I don't see the point of constant monitoring when you already know what's going to happen.

Though I'm now convinced that there isn't an afterlife, I still go to the cemetery, usually on or soon after All Saints' Day, when faithful Filipinos flock to the graves of their deceased friends and relatives (a surreal blend of Catholicism and ancestor worship), but I do it mainly to make sure that my relatives' graves aren't being desecrated (I once caught people placing objects over my great-grandfather's grave marker). Call it sentimentality, but even when I am aware that dead people are not even capable of minding what goes on at their burial sites, I am squeamish about vandalizing gravestones and other memorials. We were all brought into this world without our consent, and the least we could do for everyone is to is give them the right to leave it in peace and with dignity. And graves are part of the send-off that we give to the departed. Whatever way they leave, they were, after all, part of our lives, part of our world.

I want to spare my family from stressful trips to the graveyard, so I am seriously considering alternatives to burial such as cremation, aquamation, even donating my body to science. It pays to plan ahead, before the loss of consciousness and the powerlessness that comes with non-existence sets in. Whatever way this body gives up its autonomy and ultimately returns its raw materials to the environment, it comforts me to think that it would make way for future generations to experience the universe and all its majesty (because as far as we know, the environment can only sustain a limited number of people). To be memorialized is a nice bonus and is probably the closest we would ever get to immortality. The irony is that we wouldn't even be aware of it as it happens.